Letting Go:

““Because so many of us refuse to let go and are fighting battles we will not win, and so many of us have let go and don’t know what to do with our grief and shame, I am thankful for this book. I pray that this book finds you and, that when it does, you’ll let it take you by the hand and lead you from where you are to a better place where, by God’s grace you can be.””

““This compassionate and wise book gives voice to the disorienting shame, bitterness, weariness, and fear when foraging for love amid the brutal relational conditions of a prodigal world. Like a kind and sturdy friend who’s walked in our shoes, it gives us room to vent, grace to be understood, counsel to get through the next hour, the next day. Most of all, Rugged Love recovers us to the healing sanity and unshakeable provision of Jesus. A superb help for our work of pastoral care. A sage companion for our human wrestling with love.””

““In their extraordinarily helpful book pastors and counselors Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert offer practical help for parents, spouses and friends who have found themselves in the unenviable position of loving someone who has completely gone off the rails. They will walk with you as you consider your options and help you process your decisions. But most importantly, they will point you to Christ. I’m really thankful for this book…and you will be too.””

““It’s always an honor to be asked to endorse a new book by authors I respect, but this time it’s a privilege. I need ‘Letting Go’—I need the wisdom, and gospel rhythms, my brothers have poured into all 175 pages of their timely tome. Sometimes loving well involves showing ‘wayward souls’ the door, entrusting them to the God who raises the dead. Dave and Paul, thanks for reminding me that none of us is called to be the 4th member of the Trinity.””

““All hell breaking loose at home is not an ‘if,’ but a ‘when.’ You will be crying out for counsel and comfort and Letting Go is crisis theology at it’s best. Harvey and Gilbert bring clarity to the confusion, Spirit-driven comfort to the chaos, and wisdom for loving your prodigal spouse, sibling, friend or child.””

““If you’ve suffered the unreturned love of a prodigal child or spouse, this book is for you. I commend Dave and Paul for writing so insightfully and sympathetically—with biblical conviction—on this complex and controversial topic. Their counsel would be wisely heeded, so that we might learn to love our prodigals in a way that directs them toward the Father’s open arms.””

““Do you know the excruciating pain of loving a prodigal? You are in good company: so does God. Billons of us. It is the story arc of the Bible. How should you love your prodigal? Read this book. Harvey’s and Gilbert’s wise biblical counsel is rich in compassion, sympathy, and perhaps best of all, empathy. They will point you to hope.””

““Jesus calls us as born again children of God to love our enemies. As difficult as that is, in some cases loving a prodigal is even harder. Someone who was close now is distant. Intimacy disintegrates into apathy, or perhaps even hostility. The prodigal shows no interest in reconciliation. The burden becomes heavier and heavier, slowly grinding down your heart and your faith. Endurance weakens into exhaustion. Prayers go unanswered. Hope fades. Is this you? If so, maybe it’s time to let the prodigal go. In this book, seasoned pastors Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert will help you with the decisions involved in whether, when, and how to let go.””

““When we are faced with letting go of a wayward spouse or child we need the wisest of companions to comfort, guide and even challenge us. Dave and Paul are those companions. They give no trite formulas or one-size-fits-all. Instead, they remind us of God’s intimate familiarity with our troubles and how he says more than we might think. Expect them to lead you into humble confidence and resilient hope.””

““Trying to love weak and rebellious people who don’t want to change is a confusing, exhausting, and painful undertaking. Quite often wise love looks different than we could imagine and flies against our deepest fears and idolatries. This book brings two vital things together, wisdom and love. Both are crucial and both are elusive. This book will help parents, pastors, spouses, and friends to walk patiently and purposefully alongside other weak sinners in need of change and mercy. The fuel for this journey is no other than God’s relentless pursuit and endless patience with all of his prodigal children. The authors faithfully point us to the perfect rugged love and sweet patience of our Savior, Jesus Christ, as the model for all our efforts to forgive as we have been forgiven.””

““With biblical wisdom and pastoral gentleness, Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert have crafted an excellent help for those facing the unique challenge of giving grace to those who spurn it. I am grateful for this important book. Letting Go does wonderful justice to the complexity and the versatility of true Christian love.””

““Few realities are more painful than watching a cherished loved one make rebellious decisions that will lead to their destruction. As a pastor and counselor I have walked with countless parents, spouses, siblings, and friends agonizing with them over how to love someone who refuses to take help. Letting Go is a book I wish could go back and give to each one of those hurting people. It is a book I will give to everyone of them in the future. This book by Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert is essential reading for all those with wayward loved ones and for all of us who are called to walk with them in the pain.””