The Letting Go Conference was held on Saturday, November 19. Below are the video teachings from the conference.  CLICK HERE to purchase Letting Go: Rugged Love For Wayward Souls (links to Zondervan).


Letting Go:

Rugged Love For Wayward Souls

A Seminar and Book Release Event for parents, pastors, ministry leaders, and anyone seeking to love and serve a wayward person. 

When: Saturday, November 19, 8:30am - 12:15pm

Where: Four Oaks Community Church

4500 W Shannon Lakes Dr


WHY SHOULD YOU JOIN US?

Being paired to a prodigal is a relational nightmare. If you have a prodigal in your life, no doubt you have wrestled with the following questions:

  • How do you love a wayward person without enabling them?
  • What do you do when someone you love leaves?
  • How do you pursue someone who has hurt you and sinned against you?
  • How do you navigate through the treacherous waters of their foolishness? How do you know when to let them go?

In Letting Go, pastors Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert share stories of pain and stories of hope as they reveal how to care for the wayward people in our lives who have strayed.

Are you dealing with:

  •  an unfaithful marriage partner?
  • a rebellious child?
  • a wayward friend?

The counsel offered by Pastors Paul and Dave will help you to pursue a gospel-rooted approach, grounded in truth and practiced in the midst of Christian community. 

A must-have resource for every believer struggling to love the prodigal back home again, it is ideal for parents and siblings, counselors, pastors, and those ministering to hurting families and churches.

While each situation is unique, most stories deal with common themes of shame, guilt, confusion, uncertainty, and struggle.  You will understand the spiritual dynamics at work in the heart of the prodigal and how you as a family member, spouse, friend, or church leader can best relate to them in love.  You will learn how to practice “redemptive release” through confrontation and discipline as well as how to forgive the person who has hurt you through a process of reconciliation. For those in a time of waiting and wondering if their loved one will ever return home, there is a reminder of the hope of the gospel and the necessity of depending upon the Holy Spirit through prayer.  

 


EVENT SCHEDULE

     

 

 

 

8:30am          Registration and Continental Breakfast

9:00am          Rugged Life: What the Wayward Want

9:45am          Rugged Love: Pursuing the Wayward

10:20am        Break*

10:45am        Rugged Grace: Faith for Barren Times

11:20             How Do You Know When To Let Them Go?

11:50             Q & A*

12:15             End


Dave Harvey is the Teaching Pastor at Four Oaks Community Church in Tallahassee, Florida and is the bestselling author of When Sinners Say “I Do.”  A pastor for over 25 years, Dave has been involved in church care, church planting, and international ministry.  He also serves as the board chairman of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation and the Sojourn Church Planting Network, and lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Kimm.

Dave Harvey is the Teaching Pastor at Four Oaks Community Church in Tallahassee, Florida and is the bestselling author of When Sinners Say “I Do.”  A pastor for over 25 years, Dave has been involved in church care, church planting, and international ministry.  He also serves as the board chairman of the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation and the Sojourn Church Planting Network, and lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Kimm.

From the authors

 
Paul Gilbert is the Lead Pastor of Four Oaks Community Church. Paul received an MDiv and an MA from Reformed Theological Seminary in Marriage and Family Therapy as well as a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family from Florida State University.  He has studied extensively on the subject of forgiveness and family systems. Paul currently serves on the board of Am I Called Ministries and lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Susan, and their four children.

Paul Gilbert is the Lead Pastor of Four Oaks Community Church. Paul received an MDiv and an MA from Reformed Theological Seminary in Marriage and Family Therapy as well as a Ph.D. in Marriage and Family from Florida State University.  He has studied extensively on the subject of forgiveness and family systems. Paul currently serves on the board of Am I Called Ministries and lives in Tallahassee, Florida with his wife, Susan, and their four children.

Few things do as much damage to the soul as seeing a loved one choose the wayward road. Whether it be a spouse, child, friend, or family member, loving and engaging the prodigals in our lives is both a complex and crushing endeavor. Complex, because no matter how we engage the wayward, no path seems right. Crushing, because everything we try seemingly turns out wrong. 
We have had the heartbreaking task of counseling and shepherding people through many, many difficult and complex pastoral care situations involving wayward sons and daughters, husbands and wives, church attenders and small group members.
After repeatedly navigating these relational minefields and broken situations with people, we have come to believe that Christians would benefit by having a clear, biblical framework, with specific applications rooted in wisdom for engaging the wayward in their lives.  In fact, it is our conviction that serving sinners who stray requires a bold, redemptive love that is rooted in the gospel, clearly understood by believers, sacrificially supported by the church, and courageously applied by family and friends. 
We have dedicated Letting Go to all of you who have wrestled with and waited in hope for the wayward in your lives. We are looking forward with you to that Day when Jesus returns and “all the prodigals run home.” We hope you can join us for this event so that we can learn and wait in hope together.
For Them,
Paul Gilbert and Dave Harvey

What Others Are Saying

“Because so many of us refuse to let go and are fighting battles we will not win, and so many of us have let go and don’t know what to do with our grief and shame, I am thankful for this book. I pray that this book finds you and, that when it does, you’ll let it take you by the hand and lead you from where you are to a better place where, by God’s grace you can be.”
— Paul David Tripp, pastor, conference speaker, and author of What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage; Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands; and How People Change:

“This compassionate and wise book gives voice to the disorienting shame, bitterness, weariness, and fear when foraging for love amid the brutal relational conditions of a prodigal world. Like a kind and sturdy friend who’s walked in our shoes, it gives us room to vent, grace to be understood, counsel to get through the next hour, the next day. Most of all, Rugged Love recovers us to the healing sanity and unshakeable provision of Jesus. A superb help for our work of pastoral care. A sage companion for our human wrestling with love.”
— Zack Eswine, author of Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those Who Suffer from Depression and The Imperfect Pastor

“In their extraordinarily helpful book pastors and counselors Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert offer practical help for parents, spouses and friends who have found themselves in the unenviable position of loving someone who has completely gone off the rails. They will walk with you as you consider your options and help you process your decisions. But most importantly, they will point you to Christ. I’m really thankful for this book…and you will be too.”
— Elyse Fitzpatrick, director of Women Helping Women Ministries and author of Idols of the Heart: Learning to Long for God Alone; Comforts from the Cross: Daily Celebrations of the Gospel; and Give them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

“It’s always an honor to be asked to endorse a new book by authors I respect, but this time it’s a privilege. I need ‘Letting Go’—I need the wisdom, and gospel rhythms, my brothers have poured into all 175 pages of their timely tome. Sometimes loving well involves showing ‘wayward souls’ the door, entrusting them to the God who raises the dead. Dave and Paul, thanks for reminding me that none of us is called to be the 4th member of the Trinity.”
— Scotty Smith, Teacher in Residence at West End Community Church, Nashville, TN and author of Everyday Prayers: 365 Days to a Gospel-Centered Faith and Unveiled Hope: Eternal Encouragement from the Book of Revelation

“All hell breaking loose at home is not an ‘if,’ but a ‘when.’ You will be crying out for counsel and comfort and Letting Go is crisis theology at it’s best. Harvey and Gilbert bring clarity to the confusion, Spirit-driven comfort to the chaos, and wisdom for loving your prodigal spouse, sibling, friend or child.”
— Daniel Montgomery, Lead Pastor of Sojourn Community Church in Louisville, KY and author of "Proof: Finding Freedom through the Intoxicating Joy of Irresistible Grace" and "Faithmapping: A Gospel Atlas for Your Spiritual Journey"

“If you’ve suffered the unreturned love of a prodigal child or spouse, this book is for you. I commend Dave and Paul for writing so insightfully and sympathetically—with biblical conviction—on this complex and controversial topic. Their counsel would be wisely heeded, so that we might learn to love our prodigals in a way that directs them toward the Father’s open arms.”
— Collin Hansen, editorial director of The Gospel Coalition and author of "Blind Spots: Becoming a Courageous, Compassionate, and Commissioned Church"

“Do you know the excruciating pain of loving a prodigal? You are in good company: so does God. Billons of us. It is the story arc of the Bible. How should you love your prodigal? Read this book. Harvey’s and Gilbert’s wise biblical counsel is rich in compassion, sympathy, and perhaps best of all, empathy. They will point you to hope.”
— Jon Bloom, Co-founder and Chair of Desiring God and author of "Not By Sight" and "Don't Follow Your Heart"

“Jesus calls us as born again children of God to love our enemies. As difficult as that is, in some cases loving a prodigal is even harder. Someone who was close now is distant. Intimacy disintegrates into apathy, or perhaps even hostility. The prodigal shows no interest in reconciliation. The burden becomes heavier and heavier, slowly grinding down your heart and your faith. Endurance weakens into exhaustion. Prayers go unanswered. Hope fades. Is this you? If so, maybe it’s time to let the prodigal go. In this book, seasoned pastors Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert will help you with the decisions involved in whether, when, and how to let go.”
— Don Whitney, Professor of Biblical Spiritual and Associate Dean, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and author of "Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life"

“When we are faced with letting go of a wayward spouse or child we need the wisest of companions to comfort, guide and even challenge us. Dave and Paul are those companions. They give no trite formulas or one-size-fits-all. Instead, they remind us of God’s intimate familiarity with our troubles and how he says more than we might think. Expect them to lead you into humble confidence and resilient hope.”
— Edward T. Welch, Director of Counseling at Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation (CCEF) and author of "Blame It on the Brain: Distinguishing Chemical Imbalances, Brain Disorders, and Disobedience" and "When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man"

“Trying to love weak and rebellious people who don’t want to change is a confusing, exhausting, and painful undertaking. Quite often wise love looks different than we could imagine and flies against our deepest fears and idolatries. This book brings two vital things together, wisdom and love. Both are crucial and both are elusive. This book will help parents, pastors, spouses, and friends to walk patiently and purposefully alongside other weak sinners in need of change and mercy. The fuel for this journey is no other than God’s relentless pursuit and endless patience with all of his prodigal children. The authors faithfully point us to the perfect rugged love and sweet patience of our Savior, Jesus Christ, as the model for all our efforts to forgive as we have been forgiven.”
— Barbara Duguid, author of "Extravagant Grace: God's Glory Displayed in Our Weakness" and "Prone to Wander: Prayers of Confession and Celebration"

“With biblical wisdom and pastoral gentleness, Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert have crafted an excellent help for those facing the unique challenge of giving grace to those who spurn it. I am grateful for this important book. Letting Go does wonderful justice to the complexity and the versatility of true Christian love.”
— Jared C. Wilson, Director of Content Strategy at Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary and author of "Gospel Wakefulness" and "Unparalleled: How Christianity's Uniqueness Makes it Compelling"

“Few realities are more painful than watching a cherished loved one make rebellious decisions that will lead to their destruction. As a pastor and counselor I have walked with countless parents, spouses, siblings, and friends agonizing with them over how to love someone who refuses to take help. Letting Go is a book I wish could go back and give to each one of those hurting people. It is a book I will give to everyone of them in the future. This book by Dave Harvey and Paul Gilbert is essential reading for all those with wayward loved ones and for all of us who are called to walk with them in the pain.”
— Dr. Heath Lambert, Executive Director, Association of Certified Biblical Counselors and author of "A Theology of Biblical Counseling: The Doctrinal Foundations of Counseling Ministry" and "Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace"